Monday, December 13, 2010

A Touch of Sin

After each of my losses, I would inevitably hear comments such as "He was too pure for this earth" or "Now you have an angel in heaven", which made me want to punch the commenter in the face. can tell that I'm not too pure for this earth.  I am hoping the Current Occupant of my uterus has an evil streak like me so that heaven won't want him/her back for a long, long time.  The last thing I need is yet another angel in heaven.  I need a little hellian who will wake me at all hours of the night and later fight with his/her brother and sister and write on the wall with permanent marker.  A lot of moms complain about these sorts of things, but that's what I want.  More than anything.

Early last week, I was delighted to finally have some pregnancy symptoms, namely mild nausea and sore boobs.  But last Thursday all symptoms stopped suddenly AND I woke up to some cramping on Sunday morning.  You can imagine how distressed I was this weekend.  By "distressed",  I mean sobbing and unable to function.  Yeah, being pregnant after three consecutive losses really messes with your head.  I am pleased to report, though, that my lab numbers look good today and I'm feeling a bit nauseous.  Also, my boobs feel sore when prodded, so I prod them a lot to help ease my anxiety!

So, a rough weekend and it didn't help that we were snowed in.  Seventeen inches of snow.  Our annual gingerbread party was supposed to be Saturday.  Other years we've had at least a dozen candy-crazed kids running around our small house on party day.  My kids were very disappointed that no one could come this year due to the storm.  However, we were able to decorate our gingerbread projects: a sleigh with reindeer and the Tardis from the British TV show Dr. Who:

The Tardis, complete with working blue light on top and Doctor Who action figure.
David Tennant can be my Doctor any time! 

Finally, not just one but three bloggers recently nominated me for the Cherry on Top award. They are Maria at Mission: Fertile Soul, Oak at The Acorn Chronicles, and runnyyolk at Yolk.  Awww, thanks girls! I'm finally getting around to passing it on:

1) Meim at Tears Are For Babies.  Make sure to stop by her blog as she should have beta results soon!
2) Shandrea at Loving My Angels.  She just had surgery, which hopefully will help her get her long-awaited rainbow baby!
3) Landert at Not a Fertile Mertile, who is transitioning to adoption mode after a long hard infertility fight.
4) Megan at Illuminating Sadness, who is a very good writer but seems to have gone missing from the blogging world lately.
5) Nicole at Caroline's Family, who is missing her very recently stillborn daughter. 

Whew - it's hard to pick just five!  Now it's up to you ladies to pass it on.


Anonymous said...

I agree! A little devil baby is much better than another "one in heaven"!

So glad to hear everything was okay after your scare!

Shandrea said...

Annie, first off i love the picture too funny and so are you. Isn't it amazing how we look and hope for what most pg women dread and complain about, oh the life of a BLM. But i am glad that your symptoms are back and tell the little bit that we are gonna agree to not scare you like that anymore and he/she will get comfy and hang around for oh say 9months ;O) Thank you for my award. Sending you hugs and lots of love.

Jana said...

All I can say is, Keep prodding. And that I am sure Q would be happy to help you out with that :) Glad you are feeling some pregnancy symptoms.

cool gingerbread house. sorry it got snowed in.

Congrats on the award and here's to hoping your baby is no "cherry on top" type of child. I can't wait to hear about him or her scrawling on the walls with a marker.

Nick and Kristi said...

Annie so happy the numbers are good:) and WOW to 17inches of snow that is crazy...I havent heard from you in while but hope you are doing good...My thoughts are with you:)

Lori said...

Whew--this is packed!

Congrats on the award!!! Well deserved!

Glad your numbers are good and reassuring!

HATING the snow for you! I hate the snow anyway, but hating THAT much for you and the party that wasn't. The gingerbread and decorations rock!

I did not have a SINGLE symptom with Matthew, save I thought the girls looked a bit bigger (they were) and my stomach had this sort of rounder shape to it (which really did happen, even at 4 weeks!) and everyone kept telling me that I SHOULD and I don't know if I was just oblivious or simply thrilled that I was even pregnant, I didn't care--I KNEW he was purposed and had no doubt that the hard part was getting pregnant.

Ah. The innocence.

Anyway, so having FAR more symptoms with Luke made everyone very happy--but I kept reminding everyone, including the doctors--that I didn't have any symptoms with Matthew and he was perfect. And that sort of shut them down.

The point is that I don't want you to worry about if it seems pregnancy symptoms are evading you here and there. I know that's easier said than done, but it really is true--perfect and wonderful babies come from pregnancies that have not one drop of nausea, sore boobs, fatigue, cravings or aversions, or any of the other many symptoms that are supposed to be reassuring. xoxoxo

Suzy said...

I want to punch commenters like that too. Repeatedly. With a brick. I mean is it supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn't.

I adore your tardis. Possibly the best gingerbread creation ever. A true work of art :)

heartincharge said...

so funny!

Megan said...

ANNIE! I had no idea you were expecting Oh my stars woman!! Today is my birthday, and THAT makes me exceptionally happy!

And this award! Golly! Thank you Annie :) It's my first :)

I have been missing lately. I've been going through so much with my other children lately. Claire fractured her spine in 3 places at the end of september, and again in one place the other day. Jakob broke his foot in October, and Stella broke her arm two weeks ago. It's been hospitals and casts up to my eyeballs. They all have osteogenesis imperfecta( brittle bones) but we've never had all three broken at the same time! So it's been crazy.
I've been doing so much soul searching about losing Leta. I will post soon :)
Thank you again Annie :)

Jeanne said...


Ir saddens me that people say hurtful things. I know (or hope) most of them have good intentions and do mean to help but it's unfortunate that they aren't aware of just how upsetting their comments can be.

I am so sorry you had a scare. I'm glad the numbers look good. :)

I'm sorry the snow altered your plans but your gingerbread house is great.


caitsmom said...

Wishing people wouldn't visit the words that make THEM feel better about OUR tragedy on US> UGH.

BTW loves this statement!!! "Also, my boobs feel sore when prodded, so I prod them a lot to help ease my anxiety!"

Teresa said...

Annie--your posts always crack me up. I think any little devil will be lucky to have you as a mommy. Praying for a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Jem said...

Love your Tardis! It's amazing!!!

~Jem, ICLW #5 –