Friday, December 31, 2010

A Merrier Christmas

It was a merrier Christmas than we've had in years since I am actually pregnant at long last.  We were able to see the heartbeat again today and everything is looking great!  I am exactly 8 weeks along and the baby measures 8w2d.  Some of my meds are being reduced (progesterone, Vivelle patches) and I'm released to the care of my perinatologist.  While I wait for that appointment to get set up, my RE says I'm welcome to come back there and get another ultrasound if I get nervous.  Um, does she realize I'm always nervous?

I've been offline lately because our computer had a very nasty virus.  Prior to that, I was sick myself (bad cold - nothing major) and have been stuck in the house for most of Christmas break.  This has been boring for the kids and they have exhibited absolutely monstrous behaviour. I try to think "Yay!  This means they're not too pure for this earth!", but somehow this does not cheer me up.  I am thrilled that school starts again on Monday.  Might as well get back to the grind - we are not exactly creating glowing holidays memories that we will cherish for a lifetime.  Maybe next year.

Still this "most wonderful time of the year" has been a big step up for our family and we are very thankful.  Sickness and bad behaviour are mere annoyances.  The biggest stress for me lately involves my brother, who has a serious illness, and our mother who believes he is merely having a "spiritual battle" and is possessed by demons.  She takes him to get devils cast out (mysteriously, this has been ineffective.  hmmm.)  I've already seen two of my siblings buried and now I fear she is going to kill my brother with her denial and negligence.

I know that I need to keep my stress and anxiety down as much as possible for the sake of my baby, but my brother's situation is weighing me down so much.  My other brother (who is, incidentally, a psychologist) says we just need to preserve our own sanity by refusing to be involved in this ugly situation since we have no power to change it.  Giving up on my futile efforts to wrest my brother from our mother's evil clutches is sooo hard to do. Why can't the rest of my family be as sane and well-balanced as I am? *sigh* Sorry for the way off-topic vent.  I'm going to my happy place now.

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.   - Tolstoy


Nick and Kristi said...

Glad Christmas was good...Yeah for growing healthy baby and being Prego!!!

I hope your brother gets the help he needs and your mom gets back to reality but you know moms they never want to see the truth exp when their children are struggling

Take Care!!!

My life said...

Glad that the baby is looking good!!!

~ My little brother has a severe form of OCD that is affecting his health (food and germs, but mostly food). He now has a daughter who is having health problems because he pushes his OCD on her (food). It is so frustrating to watch and I feel helpless in the situation. Unfortunately OCD runs in my family and my oldest son displays some behaviors of this as well. We plan on taking him in a few years to a child psychologist because he may grow out of a few things. I'll be praying for you family and for guidance and wisdom on how best to deal with the situation with your brother.

Anonymous said...

Yikes, that sounds like a tough situation with your brother. I have no good advice for you, but wish you the best of luck.

And glad to see baby is doing well!

Oak said...

Its so hard to believe that your psychologist brother is giving the best advice right now but it has to be. Especially since its so important for you to maintain a sense of calm right now and to keep that little baby growing strong. I can't imagine how hard that is or how much you want to intervene.

Beyond that utter stress, I'm so glad the holidays were happy and that you'll be sending the kiddos back to school on Monday! :)

Lori said...

Soooo...double majored in psychology because I come from alotttttta case studies in situations, let me tell you! Then realized that I'd spent my entire life dealing with crazy (I know, I know, not PC, but in my case, SO appropriate!) that PR and then education to boot were far more attractive fields!

Seriously...even teaching was more attractive. Because honestly, it's just hard to deal with some of the psychological disorders out there because they are so confounding--dysfunctional but in a functional way. Mentally stable enough to manipulate others into believing they are mentally stable.

Not to mention battling my own (yes, OCD and Generalized Anxiety are on my resume, though thankfully, well-managed for the most part)'s just hard to deal with people. So, while I agree that it seems as if you feel this responsibility to help, there comes a point where you just have to take care of yourself and realize you just may never be able to fix it or help. It's a horrible scenario--those you love hurting and you purposely removing yourself for your own protection--and far, far, FAR easier said than done! Praying for your brother (no paranoia there???) and your mother...but for you as well as it's so hard on your heart as well.


Anonymous said...

Family situations are so hard, its interesting isn't it, that people we would never particularly care to be friends with in our real life we are connected to and spend our days invested in because we are related by blood. I have always found that whole thing kind of fascinating. "Blood is thicker than water" and all that.

I do hope your brother eventually gets the proper help he needs so he can have a fulfilled life without this illness overtaking him. But, more importantly, I hope you are able to 'let go' of things you (unfortunately) cannot change so you can look after yourself and your baby! I wish you all good things this year. xx

Jeanne said...


It's late here. So, please bear with my outline form...

1) It is imperative that you focus on taking care of yourself. (You already know this, of course. It doesn't hurt to hear it, though).

2) Of course you are worried about your brother. I know how very difficult it has been to step back from dealing with my sister's un-stabilized mental illness. It's hard! However, you can't be the one to "save him".

3) If there is any hope at all in the notion of your psychologist brother stepping in to intervene with your mom, it would be worth it. Not sure that's an option if it's not already being done.

Sounds like your brother in need of help is not a minor child. So, technically... your mom has no say in his treatment. With your other brother having a psych degree, I would think he could go "drastic" with her if needed.

4) Let's hope drastic is not needed. Based on what you've said about your mom in the past, though, I'm not sure.


In any event, you simply can't be the one to step in. You can't get sucked into that drama.

I know that is very, very hard. However, it's the reality.

Try to focus your energy on self-care and hopefully things will work out sooner rather than later with your brother.

Happy New Year. Try to focus on self-care. :)

Take care,


CeCe said...

Yay about your pregnancy!! Sorry about your brother's situation, that must be hard.

All the best to you.

Jeanne said...


Thinking of you!


Jana said...

glad you had a Merry Christmas.
Sorry about the family situation, that can be tough.

Rachel said...

Take care of your family unit first and foremost. It's hard to step back and say that, but as other commenters have said, you and baby are most important right now. Doesn't mean you don't care and don't love your brother...but it's not all up to you. (I only leave 'advice' because I've dealt with quite a bit of mental issues with family members)

And I'm glad this Christmas was more merry than not. Much love to you.

Teresa said...

Happy to hear you had a good Christmas Annie!

I'm with you on the crazy family (My brother has more problems than I can count) but luckily he is getting the help he needs now. I will pray that your brother somehow is able to find the help he needs too.