Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hurts So Good / Switch Flipper

The lone ovary has done surprisingly well despite the endometrioma that I'd feared would ruin this cycle.   I've been feeling sore and lopsided for the last couple of days.  For most of the past nine years, pelvic pain made me terrified and anxious because it meant something was wrong.  It's nice for a change that hurting down there is a good sign. 

Stims this time around actually produced more follicles than last cycle, and in a shorter period of time.  Today's ultrasound showed three mature-sized follicles and five more that should be mature by retrieval on Thursday morning.  Eight would be great!  Last time I got six that were mature.  Just minutes ago I injected myself in the rear with the HCG.  Even though I know it really doesn't hurt, that big needle made me nervous for a moment.  But it's all over now and tomorrow there will be no needles!

The better-than-expected follicle count has gotten my hopes up a bit.  Hope is a scary thing for me anymore.  I've noticed that my life tends to go in 5-7 years phases.  When it's good it's very very good and when it's bad it's horrid.  Things will run overwhelmingly one way for years and then turn around and go the other way as suddenly as if someone flipped a switch. 

Before the Really Bad Phase kicked off with the death of Jeremiah, I'd had a seven-year Good Phase which got me a college degree, the opportunity to live abroad and travel to 30+ foreign counties, a wonderful husband, and two living children.  This current Really Bad Phase has gone on for nearly four years.  Switching back to Good now may be a bit premature, but I believe an early reprieve is in order since these last years have been SO terribly bad.  I'm praying that the Switch Flipper will see fit to go ahead and flip it right now!


Cherbear said...

flip that switch like a son of a...cow! LOL No really, flip it! SO excited that things are looking up for you!

Suzy said...

Hope that switch gets flicked sooner rather than later :)
Now is a great time for it :)

Oak said...

It is definitely your turn to have a good luck cycle. If I could flip that switch for you I would!

Andrea Holley said...

Yay! I'm happy to hear some good news.

Teresa said...

Yay! Grow follies Grow! So excited to hear good news!

Jana said...

i think it is time to Flip the Switch.
Come on follies. you can do it. Be the switch!

foxy said...

I love this. Just yesterday ML and I were talking about how great things were. We had a wonderful stretch of years where life just came together for us perfectly. But then, everything just started to unravel, with the Azoos diagnosis, unemployment, our puppy died, infertility pain and financial strain, the loss of a genetic link to our family, etc... These past few years have been the hardest i have ever experienced. I am SO ready to flip that freaking switch and bounce back to the good life!!!

Until then, I'm going to keep serving up mimosas to anyone who wants to join my pity party!