Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Other Website is a Happy One

I checked the other day to see if the old website I designed for a college class is still up. It is. It's a much, much happier website than this one. It covers my time at college in Hawaii, teaching in Russia and China, traveling the world, getting married, and having my first baby, who was born alive :) and is now seven. The pages of the site are subdivided under the lyrics to a song - Pretty Good Year by Tori Amos:

Maybe a bright sandy beach
Is gonna bring you back [Hawaii]
Maybe not so now you're off [Russia]
You're gonna see America [travels in America]
Well let me tell you something about (China) [China]
Pretty good year [wedding and baby]

That's where my happy website ends. As I looked at it, I realized what the next lines of the song are . . .

Well what's it gonna take
Till my baby's alright

Now that's just disturbing, is it not? Still, it was nice to reminisce about great adventures in happier times. One line I wrote while in Mongolia stood out to me: "If I'm depressed in the future, I'll just think 'at least I don't have to live in Mongolia' and I'll be immediately cheered up." I tried it and it does help. A nomadic Mongolian woman has little hope or support if she is infertile or has high-risk pregnancies. This is true of women in much of the world today and certainly for almost all of the history of the world. Here and now there are resources and options, though I don't know if even that will be enough to help me.

Camp of nomads on the Mongolian steppes


Browniris said...

Stopping by from ICLW...I am so sorry about your unsuccessful IVF cycle. Big hugs!

Lori said...

Sometimes I go back and look at journals I wrote years and years ago and am just amazed at my perspective, and also, sadly, my ability to have such insight as to how things might be. Strange.

I have to admit, I smiled at thinking of imagining living in Mongolia to cheer yourself up. I always try to tell myself, "It could be worse," and when I have a hard time imagining how, I'll now think about how this all could have been should I live in Mongolian mountains!

jill's infertility document said...

Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog for ICLW.

I am really sorry to hear that your recent IVF did not work. It sounds like you've been through a lot.

Best wishes for what comes next.

christine said...

Failed IVF cycles suck. Sorry to hear about yours. Thanks for the reminder that I am lucky to live in a place where I can receive care for infertility!


Amaprincess said...

I am so sorry for all you have been through!!! Hugs!

ICLW #55

jrs said...

I'm glad thinking that at least you didn't live in Mongolia helped cheer you a bit. That would be rough.

That is cool you went to school in Hawaii, taught in Russia, and traveled in China. I bet you had a lot of fun experiences.

Andrea Holley said...

I remember that other website!

I'm still praying for you :)

Jeanne said...


I'm very sorry for your losses.

Disturbing portion of the lyrics above aside, I'm gathering from the fact that you have Tori Amos music mentioned here and that it's included on your music player that you are a Tori fan.

Tori Amos music has gotten me through some tough times. Did you know she has endometriosis? Yes, it was mentioned in passing in her book.

Anyhow, if you are ever in the mood for some live Tori (well, "recorded live"... I mean), just check out my YouTube channel. I am subscribed to many "Tori Amos channels" on YouTube.

I'm sending positive energy your way.